


All These Broken Rules: Chris Evans' Version

by fuckinsteverogers



Series: All These Broken Rules [1]
Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flirting, Heartbreak, Kissing, Unrequited Love, cursing, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 12:40:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17407097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinsteverogers/pseuds/fuckinsteverogers
Summary: You and Chris Evans have been best friends since high school and when he becomes a part of the Marvel family and makes some new, very attractive friends, some ground rules need to be set… But rules are made to be broken… right?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is mildly influenced (very mildly influenced) by Netflix’s new movie, ‘The Kissing Booth’ which I have watched so many times. I just made it a bit more grown up, because I feel way too old to be writing about high school kids. 
> 
> Anyways, this is my first post in forever because I’ve been getting my ass kicked by uni and work and everything has just been hectic. I can’t say whether I’ll be more active or not, but this is a start.

Twenty years. Two decades. That’s how long you’d been friends with Chris Evans. You two met in high school and while everyone thought you’d end up getting married, you’d just ended up being best friends. Your ridiculously close relationship didn’t stop him from going off and becoming famous and it didn’t stop you from putting yourself through med-school.

You were always his best friend, no matter what other friends you made, and when he was cast as Captain America and you saw how  _ridiculously_ attractive his co-workers were; he brought it upon himself to set some ground rules.

Rule #1 came about one night that you’d happened to crash a boy’s night, had a little too much beer and proceeded to spill all of Chris’ secrets to his new friends. His face had reddened and he’d began compiling a list of rules in his head to lecture you on later.

Rule #2 was the most important to Chris. He created this rule one night when he noticed you conversing with Sebastian, a lovesick smile of your face and Sebastian’s hand placed over your own. He was certain nothing had come of your relationship yet, but the thought made his stomach stir, the thought of either of his friends potentially being hurt.

You had screwed your face up when he told you this one, confused as to why he would even think about something like this.

“As if any of your ridiculously attractive friends would look at me that way, Christopher,” You had chastised him. He’d given you a side eye until you nodded your head in agreeance to the rule. The rules went both ways, he couldn’t even think about going near your friends and you couldn’t go near his. 

But rules were made to be broken… right?


	2. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is the most I’ve written in months. Wtf is happening. I am so not happy with how this is going so far. I am trying to get my creative juices flowing and getting this thing going, but it’s sorta boring atm. I promise shit is going to get better as it goes. 
> 
> When I said this was based on ‘The Kissing Booth’, I meant loosely, like very loosely. I am basically just using the rules part and best friends angle, but less teenager centric and less ‘I won’t talk to you ever again’ vibes (Chris is too mature for that), plus Chris x Reader is always a good angle… right?

You wipe your sweaty hands on your scrubs and move towards the receptionist desk in the hospital.

“Already leaving?” Hannah, the receptionist, asks. She looks just as tired as you feel. You nod, smiling at her tiredly.

“Yes, thank God. If they didn’t let me leave, I’d have had to find a spare bed,” You joke, watching her hand over your booklet, to write your hours in for the day. Your hospital had yet to upgrade to a booking system, another thing on the to-do list.

“Going home to that handsome boyfriend of yours?” Hannah smiles and you furrow your brows at her, confused as to if she’s mistaking you for another female doctor in your large hospital.

“Boyfriend?” You question, signing the paperwork and handing it back to her.

“Chris Evans, right? I see you guys all over the internet. He’s so dreamy,” Hannah quirks up, the comment almost makes your stomach churn but who are you kidding? You’d be lucky to have a guy as great as Chris even glance at you.

You begin to laugh, hunching over the desk.

“No, no, no. He and I…” You stop for a moment and regard her expression, she’s looking up at you with the same look every girl gives you when you tell them Chris is single. “We are best friends, have been since high school.”

“Better secure him soon, honey. He has definitely got his options,” The comment sounds so sweet coming out of her mouth, which is why you’re confused when it stings. 

“Thanks, Hannah. See you tomorrow, yeah?” She nods and you leave, nursing the sore she just created. 

Surely, you have options too right? You’re a doctor. A doctor in Los Angeles. You’re best friends with Captain freaking America. You live in a big house, drive a nice car. You’re sweet, compassionate, selfless. Fuck, any guy would be lucky to have you… At least that’s what you tell yourself.

You push the self-doubt to the back of your head and drive in the direction of Chris’ home, looking forward to a nice, hot shower and some good ole leftovers, maybe a beer to go along with it.

“Honey, I’m home,” You yell out as you shut the front door. You hear the vague sound of voices from what seems to be the living room, but with how damn big your millionaire friends house is, you can’t really tell.

“In the living room, darling,” Chris’ voice echos back, and you smile to yourself at the pet name, something you and Chris embraced from a young age. 

So many people in high school, from classmates to teacher told you both that you were destined to be together, which eventually evolved into pet names that only served to stir the pot, but didn’t actually mean anything.

“Did you order food? I’m starving,” You note aloud when entering the living room, chucking your handbag onto the floor and moving towards Chris, only to notice the two other men seated in the living room. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company.”

You stop and regard the two  _ridiculously_ attractive men looking directly at you.

“You’re still going to stay, right?” Chris raises an eyebrow at you and a smile spreads across your face.

“Yeah, but I should probably shower and change,” You reply, looking down at your blood splattered scrubs.

“Surgery?” Anthony asks, looking down to where you’ve got blood dried into the fabric. You nod, wiping your sweaty hands onto your thighs; your eyes momentarily shifting towards the dark-haired Romanian man that has his eyes boring into you.

“Open heart. Patient forgot to mention he was a haemophilia sufferer, so it wasn’t the cleanest.” You watch Mackie’s face twist into disgust and a smile tugs on your lips.

“Couldn’t do what you do, doll,” Sebastian perks up, leaning back and taking a swig of the stella he’s nursing in his hands.

“My little worker bee,” Chris contributes, which only serves to drag your eyes away from Sebastian’s  _fucking ridiculously_ handsome face and grin at your best friend.

“My little performer bee,” You add, quickly making your way over to him. You wrap your hands around his shoulders and nuzzle your face into his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of home.

“Okay, now get away from me, you smell like death,” Chris chuckles, painting a peck onto your cheek and pushing you off of him. You laugh and throw your hands up, moving for your handbag.

“Did you wash my clothes?” You ask, picking your handbag up and moving for the stairs.

“Yeah, I left them on my bed,” Chris replies, and with one final glance at the three men, you climb the stairs to where your relaxing, hot shower awaits.

The boys have fresh beers and are watching football when you return in sweats and a t-shirt, hair wet and smelling like roses. Chris greets you with open arms and an already opened beer, tugging your body into his as you settle beside him to watch the Patriots.

Though, your attention is almost non-existent on the television when Sebastian’s movements catch your eye. He sweeps his long, tanned fingers through his dark hair and shifts to cross his legs, his thighs thicker than the last time you saw him, probably due to the men just having finished filming their latest Marvel movie.

The sight sends heat throughout your body, it’s unnerving how attracted to him you are. The thought of Rule #2 sends you slamming back to Earth. Sebastian is off-limits, you know that you’ve known that since the moment Chris pulled you aside, you’ve known it since the moment you knew you were attracted to him, but there’s this pull, this unmistakable need for him that won’t leave you alone.

Attempting to forget about the thoughts rushing through your head, you lean back against Chris’ chest and press the empty bottle of Stella between your thighs, shutting your eyes as he wraps his arm around your chest.

You listen to the shouts from the men, vibrations travelling through you when Chris perks up, and slowly fall into a deep sleep after the gruelling 16-hour shift.

“Sweetheart,” Is what you wake to, the sound of velvet in your ears. Humming, you roll over, towards the sound, seeking the comfort of the soft voice, you reach your hand out, only to come in contact with rough stubble on top of soft skin and you keep your hand there, just feeling. “Food’s here, sweetheart.”

The voice is so soft, yet rugged and you can’t help but hum, still too groggy to open your eyes, you do notice that you’re no longer propped against Chris’ chest, but laid on the couch with no heat of a man’s body to protect you from the coldness of the room.

“Is she okay?” You hear another voice, deep and manly, and almost makes your chest vibrate with how low the octaves are.

“Yeah, but I think she thinks I’m you,” The velvety voice says, and it makes you wake up a tiny bit. Who are you touching? Please don’t be a stranger, oh god.

When you crack your eyes open, your hand still encasing a sharp jawline and rough stubble, you see the gorgeous sight beside you.

“There she is,” Sebastian says, his hand coming up to yours that is laid on his cheek and bringing it to be encased between his hands, the warmth against the cold makes you shiver.

“I got your favourite, honey,” Chris talks, and you shift your gaze from the brunette beauty to your best friend who is standing tall in the doorway. 

“Just give me a moment,” You say, lightly tugging your hand from within Sebastian’s grasp, feeling mildly guilty for liking the feeling of his soft, warm skin against yours.

You take a moment to lift yourself from the couch, your body aching from the long day and lift your eyes back to the brunette beauty who moves to let you get up.

“Okay, doll?” He asks, a bright smile lifting up onto his face. You feel your cheeks heat up, and hope he doesn’t notice the way you quickly duck your head and shuffle past him; avoiding the burning stare of such an attractive man.

“I’m all good,” You reply, rolling your shoulders to relieve the tension.

Chris smiles as you walk towards him, draping his arm across his shoulder, pressing a tight kiss into your temple as he does.

“So what favourite did you get me?” You ask, tipping your head back slightly to look at the taller man. His eyes gleam as he looks down at you. Twenty years of friendship meant that Chris and you knew basically every food, every snack, every drink that you both preferred and Chris made a habit of always providing, not even giving you a chance to step up your friendship game.

“Seb, why don’t you go start without us? I just want to talk to Y/N for a second,” Chris says, disregarding your question, and you don’t have to look at Sebastian to know he’s confused. You are confused too, furrowing your eyebrows up at Chris, who just smiles lightly at you and pulls you towards the stairs.

“You like him, don’t you?” He asks when you make it into the bedroom. 

You pull yourself from under his arm and look at him, because fuck are you really that obvious, but is it really a like situation?

“Are you accusing me of breaking the rules?” You demand playfully, not wanting this to end in a fight, because you know if you admit to anything, then Chris will not take kindly. Chris smiles at your tone and moves to sit on the bed, stretching his long, long legs out in front of him.

“I know you haven’t slept with him. I’m just asking,” He admits, looking tentatively at you. The look in his eyes tells you he’s panicking. You know why he set the rules, you feel guilty for indulging in your emotions openly enough to harm your best friend.

“Chris,” You murmur, padding towards him slowly. 

You plaster your front to his and stand between his stretched legs, hugging his body into yours. Chris lays his head gently into your chest and his hot breath hits your skin, sending automatic shivers across your skin. He wraps his arms around your waist and you feel the tension soak from him to you.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” You say honestly, and this only proves to make his shoulders tense up.

“Then tell me the truth,” He replies. Like it’s that easy.

You huff out a breath, tilting your head down and leaning your head against the top of his, just feeling the soft hair against your face.

This situation shouldn’t be as difficult as it is, but you know that losing you and Sebastian is a constant threat to him.

As you pucker your lips and press a kiss to his head, in what would seem intimite from an outside perspective but from inside, you know it’s just best friends showing affection; you hear Sebastian’s loud laugh from downstairs and you breathe in slowly, calming your heart rate. 

What are you meant to say without breaking your best friends heart? Maybe, that should be rule #3: A little white lie to avoid hurting your bestie is acceptable.

But how little is this white lie?


	3. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I’m fumbling around so hard with this fic. I have no plan… well, that’s not true. I have an end goal, but I don’t know what’s going to happen in the middle, so we are on this journey together.
> 
> Next part will start to get into all the angsty complicated feelings and we will discover more about the reader’s inner turmoil… I wish my inner turmoil was picking between two gorgeous men. I also changed the decade that reader and Chris have known eachother to two decades, to accomodate Seb and Chris’ ages now, and because I didn’t really think it through when I was writing it.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this instalment. Feedback is highly encouraged!!

The night started off fairly innocent. **  
**

It never stays that way though.

Chris had been invited to a party, which meant you were invited. You’d been to your fair share of parties with Chris, but this was your first celebrity party.

You had expected expensive wine, suits and gowns, smelly cheese, and civilised conversation, but when Chris told you to dress normally; you’d furrowed your brows but shrugged your shoulders, picking a dress that you’d normally wear to a ‘commoner’ party, plain black, tight and fuckin’ hot, with a lilac leather jacket for a pop of colour.

Chris had wolf-whistled when you came out, hair in messy waves and smokey eye was done to perfection. You’d oohed and awed at him dramatically, getting him to do a spin. He looked dashing, and even now at the party, you had a hard time keeping your eyes off of him. I mean, who would stare at your GOD of a best friend.

Now, this party turned out to be exactly the opposite of what you assumed and the moment you stepped over the threshold, you felt guilty for stereotyping famous people as rich snobs.

Turns out the beer was out of a keg, the most common alcohol was Smirnoff vodka that was housed in the massive jungle juice courtesy of the host, which you had yet to figure out who they actually were, and there were more party games being played than you’d seen in your six years of university.

There were so many hot men and women there that it shook you to your core and apparently you were one of them.

“Chris, is this the infamous Y/N we’ve been hearing so much about?” A tall, handsome Tom Hiddleston asked after Chris shook his hand and gave him a tight hug which was eagerly returned. “She is so much more beautiful than you gave her credit for.”

“I gave her plenty of credit,” Chris replied, smirking at your blush. The colour sprouting on your cheeks only served to egg Tom on, accompanied by the cheeky smirk starting on your lips. It was clear to the men that you were enjoying the banter.

“There is not enough credit in the world to do this woman justice,” Tom tells Chris with his eyes burning into yours. You send a pointed stare to Chris that means ‘Yeah, that’s right, bitch’. Chris just rolls his eyes in mock annoyance that is betrayed by the cheeky smirk adorning his plush lips.

You’d only been at the party for ten minutes, had one drink, been complimented by Tom Hiddleston and mocked by Chris when shit had gone downhill.

And by downhill, you mean your eyes were blessed with the sight of Sebastian Stan in a skin-tight shirt and full scruff.

You tried to avoid him, for the sake of your loins and the rules, but it’d be suspicious to run from someone who is actively seeking you out. He found you in the kitchen, pouring yourself some beer from the keg and digging through a lolly bowl to find some goddamn m&ms.

“What a sight for sore eyes,” He interrupted your munching on some peanut m&ms. You gasp slightly, surprised by the interruption but welcoming to the company. You smile up at the towering man and offer your handful of m&ms to him, which only brightens the smile on his face as he takes some and shoves them in his mouth. You watch his lips part and catch the slight glimpse of the pink of his tongue and almost clench your thighs visibly right there.

“You saw me a week ago,” You reply, tipping the rest of your m&ms into your mouth. He shrugs, unbothered by the time frame.

“Too long,” Sebastian replies and your mouth parts slightly in shock.

Did he just say that? As if you guys are friends. You mean, acquaintances, sure, but friends? Not yet.

The thought sends your head whirling because is he admitting he likes you? Maybe you’re overthinking it.

“Chris is a busy man,” You state, trying to push the admittance off as Chris’ absence from social obligations, but Sebastian moves around the table to use the keg and only proves to make sure he’s less than arm’s length from you.

“We should hang out, just us…” Sebastian requests and you’re still starstruck with the words that are emerging from his mouth. “Get to know each other as friends.”

The friends part has you smiling, not because you don’t want to be more, but because the pursuit of this relationship as anything but friends is dangerous. Sebastian must either see that too or simply be uninterested in you as a lover.

“I’d really like that,” You agree, absentmindedly thinking about Chris’ reaction to this. More than likely reluctant supportance, only due to the potential for this to escalate, but in what universe does this result in a healthy relationship, two ridiculously busy people. Your attraction to him doesn’t guarantee happily ever after.

And fuck, it’s almost as if something pulls you towards him and you can’t stop the gravitational pull until your hands are smoothing down the front of his shirt and he’s looking down at you with those blue eyes you’ve had so many fantasies about.

“You look ravishing tonight,” He tells you before you have a chance to comment on the tightness of his shirt and the tautness of his abs.

“Ravishing?” You smirk at the specific choice of word, flexing your fingers against his muscular middle. Sebastian’s mouth curves into a delectable smirk and you can’t help but be turned on by the bad boy vibe he’s sending off tonight.

“Beautiful, gorgeous, edible, completely fucking delicious,” You nod along with the words, your hands flat on his chest as he compliments you, all the words rolling off his tongue like syrup; dripping down your spine, soaking your core.

Smirking, you remove your hands from him, picking up your beer. “Friends… Interesting,” You comment, smirking into the beer as you sip it, your eyes flickering up to Sebastian’s amused ones.

“Friends,” He repeats almost like an open-ended question, his eyes looking expectantly at you. Your eyes flicker over his shoulder momentarily, only to catch the pointed stare of Chris who is looking curiously at the exchange.

“Friends,” You repeat as a finality, taking a sip of your beer and move to leave him in the kitchen in favour of attaching yourself to the hip of your irked best friend.

And the night continues with Chris maintaining his arm around your waist unless you are playing beer pong. Then someone suggests spin the bottle like you all are back in high school, but apparently, it’s a party favourite around here. Chris eagerly enters, eyeing a pretty girl across the party; you in turn eye the pretty girl suspiciously, and then you enter because you aren’t a pussy.

What you don’t expect is for Sebastian to sit down next to Chris, clap a hand onto his shoulder and grin cheekily at you. You feel your face heat up involuntarily and turn your attention to the empty glass bottle sitting in the middle of an empty coffee table.

You lean back on the couch and cross your legs, sipping your beer waiting for the game to draw more players and start. With all the Hollywood faces here, this would make for an interesting game, you note.

“Have you and Chris kissed before, Y/N?” Anna Faris asks as she plops herself in a free spot across from you. You noticed her scoping the party a while ago, here with her soon-to-be ex-husband, Chris Pratt. Apparently, almost all the cast of the Marvel movies were invited. 

You glance quickly at Chris who has stopped talking to Sebastian to regard the question and you. You look at him for a while, urging him to decide whether this is covered under rule #1.

“In high school,” Chris says finally, answering the question for you. Chris grins your way and you feel your heart swell slightly, moving to tuck your hand into his right one, tangling your fingers together.

“Almost twenty years ago now,” You offer, turning your attention back to Anna who looks nothing but amused at your open affection for your best friend. “It was sub-par.”

“Sub-par?” Chris gasps, shifting so his knees knock yours. You just grin.

“At best.”

Chris scoffs, rolling his eyes, a look of annoyance adorning his features, but his hand remains entangled with yours, so you know how fake it is. You chuckle at his dramatics and zone out of the surroundings and into him for a moment, just admiring him.

Until he gives you a funny look and the game starts.

And it goes like this, spin, land, cheering, kiss, and repeat. Until it’s Sebastian’s turn, and the bottle spins and spins and spins until it doesn’t. When it stops, you can’t hold in your laughter, doubling over in hysterics.

“I’m glad you find this funny,” Sebastian mocks, a fake annoyance on his face. You are clutching your stomach and everyone is in about the same condition as you.

“I find this absolutely hilarious,” You reply cheekily, finally finding the breath to talk and regaining your composure.

Everyone is cheering a whooping as Sebastian leans in for the kiss, and when his lips press against Chris’, there’s no more laughter in you anymore. You try not to actively show it, but looking at them, watching them kiss, the glimpses of tongue (a fuckin’ rule apparently) and their plush, pink lips moulding together; you feel… jealous.

But of who? Chris? Sebastian? That’s the thing, you don’t know. 

The way Sebastian looks is amazing, all swollen lips and messy hair, but Chris… Wide, pink lips and slicked back hair. It’s a contrast you can’t help but admire, but which one do you want to be kissing? Both? Surely not. Sebastian, maybe, but Chris? Your best friend of twenty years? Fuck…

You don’t realise you’ve zoned out until the movement of Chris next to you means the kiss has ended. His cheeks are a beautiful pink and his hair is slightly mussed from where Sebastian must have stuck his hand, and sure, he’s a fucking Adonis, but he’s your best friend.

Then you look at Sebastian and you have to uncross and recross your legs. His eyes are blown wide, and he is panting, and you want to see that underneath you.

“Does this mean I can kiss my friends?” You joke to a still blushing Chris. His eyes dart to yours and he smirks, raising an eyebrow at you.

He doesn’t reply, in favour of leaning forward and giving the glass bottle a generous spin. You watch it spin and spin and spin, watching it pass the pretty girl Chris had been eyeing and when it stops, so does your heart.

“Okay, this is the best one,” Anna proclaims and somehow, a part of you agrees with her, because fuck, do you want to, but fuck, twenty years.

“We don’t have to,” Chris offers support and you just turn towards him, your hands beginning to shake.

You’re a goddamn doctor, _get your shit together,_ you tell yourself, but it’s futile.

“No backing out,” You restate one of the rules that were explicitly explained at the beginning of the game.

Chris nods and your eyes draw to his lips, and you take a breath. He doesn’t look nervous, you must be nervous enough for the both of you. The sound of everyone cheering around you is what gets you moving before the turn of the century.

_Twenty years._

_Twenty years._

_Twenty years._

You repeat the words like a mantra. As if they help calm your nerves.

You lean forward, wrap a hand around the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in the familiar soft strands of hair and he meets you halfway.

The moment your lips mould together and his hands grip your waist, your mouth opening slightly to accommodate the entrance of his soft, wet tongue, then you hear Sebastian join in the cheering; you know immediately.

You’re fucked.

You’re fucked because you want both of them.

But you sure as fuck can’t have both of them.


	4. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT WEEOOWEEOOWEEOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. 0 to 100 real quick. I still have no idea where I am going with this. I really hope you guys like this part.

In the twenty years of friendship, Chris and you had never stopped contact for more than a day; even when fighting. You had this uncanny ability to drift towards each other.

You’d fought like cats and dogs when he first started filming away, just like a long distance relationship, you both found it hard, but you had resolved that situation by taking a weekend off of work and flying to Atlanta to see him.

You’d spent the weekend wrapped around each other and that’d been the end of it. 

That’s what makes this situation so frustrating for the both of you. You had been ignoring his calls for almost a week now. It buzzed almost every ten minutes of normal waking hours and even sometimes past midnight while you’re on shift, but every time you thought about the kiss, your fingers drifting to your lips, you couldn’t stand the thought of talking to him after your revelation.

It’s not like you haven’t kissed before. There had been a time in high school where you almost had sex, but it wasn’t meant to be back then; two fumbling teenagers who didn’t even know how to touch themselves, let alone another person.

He’d come by the hospital early into your silence, standing in the reception area chatting with Hannah who was blushing and laughing and it made your stomach tighten dangerously.

“Doctor Y/N to ER, Doctor Y/N to ER,” Had rung through the loudspeakers as you sat in the break room, eating your dinner, and when you rushed down the stairs, tying your scrubs back up, that’s when you’d seen him by the desk. 

He heard the steps and turned and the moment his eyes fell on you, you began to run, past him, past Hannah, focusing on the emergency. You didn’t have to see his face to feel the hurt, because it soaked through you too; the guilt of your actions. 

God, you could just talk to him, explain why you’ve been so distant, but you can’t bring yourself to do it; to admit to liking… no, loving the feeling of his lips pressed against yours. You don’t want to admit it to him just as much as you don’t want to admit to liking the feeling of Sebastian touching you or looking at you.

So instead you ignore him, ignore each message, each voicemail, all the pleading. He gets desperate and starts showing up at your house, but what are you meant to say?

You work, go home, shower, sleep, eat, and repeat. You don’t give yourself enough time to think about Chris or the kiss.

It isn’t until two weeks fly by that you begin to think about maybe talking to him, but it’s all skewed by a few of the nurses inviting you out to the clubs that Friday night, and you accept eagerly, wanting to let loose a little.

You felt like a dick, here at the club in a tight dress and renewed faith in your life, instead of with Chris. You should be with him, instead of avoiding him like the plague.

Andrea notices your sour mood, despite a cocktail in your hand and many men stopping to take a glance at all four of you.

“Missing your boyfriend?” She asks, smiling sadly over at you. You draw your eyes up from your sugar crusted martini glass and furrow your brows.

“Why does everyone think he’s my boyfriend?” You ask, mildly frustrated. They all laugh and give you a look.

“Because he comes to the hospital every day looking for you, he sent roses on your birthday, you two are basically attached at the hip and you have love hearts next to his name in your phone,” Daniella chips in, and you roll your eyes.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” You reply, in denial as you sip your blue drink.

“Yes, it fucking does, Y/N. You’re kidding yourself if you think he doesn’t have feelings for you,” Ashley’s comment make you scoff, and you down the rest of your drink, licking the sugar from your lips.

“I need something stronger,” You state, slipping off of your stool.

“Take a few shots, Y/N. You need to relax,” Andrea pats your back as you pass, and you take the advice readily and order two shots of tequila, ready to let your hair down. Metaphorically. Your hair is already down and looking fantastic if you don’t say so yourself. 

The tequila does its job and soon enough you and the girls are on the dancefloor, working off all the sugar you just ingested.

“That guy over there won’t stop staring at you, Y/N,” Ashley tells you halfway through the fifth song, pointing to a booth off to the side of the club. You turn and look, squinting to see through the darkness. 

Slowly, your eyes adjust and you swear your heart falls out your ass, especially because he stands and begins pushing through the crowd towards you.

The girls and you watch his massive form walk towards you, frozen in place. You don’t move an inch until his arms are tight around your waist and your breasts squeezed hard against his chest. Your hands find his biceps and suddenly you’re lightheaded at the warmth of his hands and the look he sends to you.

“What a sight for sore eyes,” Sebastian says, eyes tearing into your soul. You can’t bring yourself to look away at the harsh gaze.

“You saw me two weeks ago,” You say, voice shaking under the pressure of his gaze and touch.

“Too long,” He growls out. You can’t tell if he’s mad at you or whether the feeling of you against him is wrecking him as much as it is you.

“Y/N?” Andrea inquires behind you, you turn your head to see three concerned girls, obviously thinking you’re being gropped by a random guy.

“It’s okay. I know him,” You tell them, smiling. They nod and smile back, and go back to what they’re doing, leaving you in Sebastian’s strong arms, feeling a little lightheaded.

“Is there a reason you’re holding me like this?” You ask, looking down at Sebastian’s embrace. His fingers tangle in your hair and pull slightly, shifting your head back so you’re looking at his face, his pupils blown beyond proportions. 

“Come home with me,” He says, straight to the point. It shocks you.

“You live in New York,” You tell him as if he would have forgotten. He smirks at the statement and tightens his fist in your hair. The action makes your knees shake with anticipation.

“Then let me come home with you,” He says in rebuttal. You stare up into the silky blue of his eyes and feel your resolve disappear. Fuck the rules if just his fist in your hair can reduce you to liquid.

“Lead the way,” Is all you say. He grins and takes your hand, the excitement fluttering through the air as you send a thumbs up to the girls and you stop to grab your things. 

His fingers lacing with yours as you move through the club, swerving between people. Sebastian leading you in front, giving you the perfect view of his ass in his jeans which only serves to spike your anticipation tenfold.

You are too concerned with admiring the man that’s about to bed you that it’s abrupt when he stops near the doors and pulls you flush against him again, this time it isn’t just a teasing touch. 

This time, he moulds his mouth with yours and buries his fingers in the curls at the base of your head, pulling your face securely against him. It sends the world into spins, your fingers fist his shirt as you return the kiss, reducing you to a puddle beneath his feet.

“If I could take you right here, I would,” He says when you both pull away. You moan at the words, biting down on your lip at the thought of his desperation for you. That someone could want you this much.

“We better hurry up then,” You reply, grasping his hand and all but drag him out of the club.

He kisses you again after hailing a taxi, then again when you’re in the taxi. 

You’re so stuck in him that the driver doesn’t concern you. Your mouth moulding with his, your tongue dragging against the hot wetness of his mouth. It’s so different to Chris but so similar. It sends your body into the same shock as Chris’ and it’s so hot and wet and delicious. He tastes like beer, just like Chris did, and the stubble against your palms feel exactly the same.

But the groans that he is pushing into your mouth are definitely not Chris’. The feeling of his hands on you are definitely not the same as Chris’ tentative ones, these hands aren’t afraid of what you think, they aren’t afraid to drag up your thighs, or press against the swell of your breasts.

He wants you and he’s not afraid to show it. He wants to take you anywhere he can, fit you around him and pleasure you.

But you can’t do that in the taxi.

The drive is short and filled with steam. Sebastian chucks a hundred across the seat when the driver stops out the front of your house. He pulls you out of the car with little to no effort and kisses your neck as you unlock the gate and then the front door.

The moment the door is shut, he pries your dress off of you, bunching your hair up in one hand and dragging the zip down with the other. It’s so desperate, your whole body aching as you drag his shirt up his torso, walking backwards towards the couch, too wanton to climb the stairs.

Sebastian sits down, looking up at you with hooded eyes as you unclip your bra and step out of your shoes, then your panties, leaving you bare to him in all your glory.

“Christ, sweetheart,” Is all he says, reaching for your hips to drag you down onto his lap. 

It’s all hard and fast from there. He shucks his pants off as you dig your fingers into his hair and kiss him with all your pent up sexual frustration. All the frustration from his fleeting touches and Chris’ kiss.

Sebastian is all around you, his arms wrapping around your waist, his lips against yours; his whole body big enough to encase yours. His fingers are dragging across your skin and you grind down onto the hardness lying against his stomach.

“Sebastian,” You speak up, rolling your hips, dragging your clit against the swollen head of his cock. He groans and nods, tearing a hand away from your waist to help position himself at your entrance. You don’t need any help with opening up because you’re absolutely soaked from the making out and the grinding and really just from Sebastian as a whole.

“Fucking hell, Y/N,” Is what Sebastian says when you begin to lower yourself onto him, your cunt stretching around his hefty girth. The fact that you haven’t had sex in a million years doesn’t help either. “You’re so fucking tight.”

He grips your hips tight, lifting you up and dragging you back down, slowly then faster, harder; desperate to feel you. The harder he gets you to ride the quicker you desolve into sobs, burying your face into his neck as tears begin to roll down your face, the beginning of an orgasm settling in your belly.

“Sebastian,” You scream out when the first orgasm comes, you desperately try to find something to grab onto, you find his shoulders and dig your nails into the skin, shaking and clenching around him.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Come all over me,” Sebastian strokes your back through the orgasm, lightly thrusting up into you, overcome by his own lust to stop altogether. “Good girl. So hot and tight. So good for me.”

You slowly come down from your high enough to begin to rock yourself back on his cock, sending Sebastian back into his frenzy. 

He growls loudly at the feeling of your tightness dragging up and down his cock, overwhelmed by his lust as he flips you over onto your back and doesn’t even wait a beat to begin hammering into you.

Sebastian buries his face in between your breasts and thrusts his cock hard into you, quickly bringing another orgasm to the surface.

“Seb, Seb. I’m coming, oh god,” You scream out, fisting his hair in your hands, and beginning to shake with the force of your orgasm.

“God, baby. I’m close,” Sebastian growls out as you clench and unclench around him, screaming the house down, and then almost as quickly as you were on your back, he pulls out from within you and you stare down at his length, still shaking as he strokes it. “Yes, fuck.”

He groans loudly as he cums all over your stomach, spreading the white streaks across your skin.

“Holy shit,” He says as he collapses next to you, breathing heavily.

You stare up at the ceiling, cum drying on your stomach and your thoughts return to Chris. You’ve just broken the single most important rule. If ignoring him wasn’t killing him, then this certainly would.

“Y/N?” Sebastian says after a little while of silence. You turn your head to look at him and notice the sad look in his eyes. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

All you do is cover your face with your hands, stark naked and the room smelling like sex; you can’t bear to face the look on his face or the realisation bubbling in your chest.


	5. Part 4 Missed Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No dialogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell who I am siding with? Oh well. Who knows? Chris might not feel the same way. He might not even forgive her. 
> 
> Can you also tell I am trying to drag this out as much as possible? I have a feeling I am going to just *bang* and end it, so here is an annoying filler chapter that I am kinda obsessed with???!?!?!

“ _Y/N, please pick up the phone. I haven’t talked to you in three weeks. I feel like I’m in a nightmare. I can’t live without you. Please.”_

_“Y/N? Please.”  
_

_“Sebastian told me what happened. Please, I don’t care. Fuck the rules. Please.”  
_

_“Y/N! I don’t get this. Twenty years. We’ve been friends for twenty years. Is this because of the rules? Be with Sebastian if you want, but please, please; I can’t be without you.”  
_

_“Your message bank isn’t full so you must be hearing these. I don’t know what else to say. Please.”  
_

_“If you don’t want to be friends anymore then, please, just tell me. I can’t keep ringing hoping you’ll pick up. I can’t hold out hope if you’re never going to speak to me again.”_

_“Mom said you talked to her the other night. She said you were healthy but didn’t sound happy. Y/N? Is this hurting you as much as me? Please. Fuck. Let me in.”  
_

_“I miss the smell of your hair. I keep using your shampoo just to smell you, but it isn’t the same. Please tell me you miss me too.”  
_

_“The game wasn’t the same without you last night. Nothing is fun without you.”  
_

_“Happy birthday, Y/N. I bought you something. I don’t want to mail it, so it’s here when you want it. I wish I could have spent the day with you, made you breakfast, taken you dancing. Carly said the funniest thing yesterday, I wish you could have heard it. I love you.”_

_“The kids have decided they’re going to be a part of our wedding. They keep asking for Aunty Y/N. God, I miss you.”  
_

_“Are you and Sebastian together? I asked him. He told me to ask you. I don’t know what to think. If he makes you happy Y/N, then I’m happy.”  
_

“ _I can’t continue talking to an answering machine.”_

_“I stopped by your house. I heard Sebastian. I guess that tells me all I need to know. I truly hope you are happy and he is treating you well. I just wish I was still your best friend.”  
_

_“I talked to your mom. She said you aren’t dating anyone. I don’t know what to think.”  
_

_“Y/N. Y/N. PLEASE.”  
_

_“I didn’t mean to yell. Fuck. I’m sorry. I just… Nevermind.”  
_

_“Hey, Y/N. It’s Scott. Chris has come home for a bit. I don’t know what’s going on between you two, because he won’t talk and mom is being mysterious, but twenty years is too long to throw away. He’s a mess. Please call me back.”_

* * *

“Hey, Scott.”

“Y/N, hey.”

“Is he okay?” 

“Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

“I can’t, Scott.”

“Why not, Y/N? You know that I love you as a sister, but Chris is miserable… My big brother is miserable.”

“Scott…”

“No, Y/N. He’s hurting because you haven’t bothered picking up your damn phone. Mom’s convinced herself it’ll work out, but whatever selfish shit you’re dealing with, deal with it and come back to him.”

“I’m in love with him.”

“… What?”

“I realised it after we kissed at a party a month ago. I couldn’t bear to face him.”

“Y/N…”

“I know, Scott. Everything you said is right. I’m being selfish. I should tell him, I shouldn’t have run away, but fuck, I can’t bear for him to look at me with those eyes… That look. He’ll reject me, hard, and I… I don’t know. This seemed like a better substitute.”

“For you.”

“Fuck… I know. I’m such an asshole.”

“Come to Boston. We are having a bonfire for the Fourth of July. Come explain it to him.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I slept with Sebastian…”

“Oh, Y/N.”

“I know. After he asked me not to. I am the biggest asshole. Sebastian has been pushing me to tell Chris, but I… I can’t fucking bear to see his face when I do.”

“He deserves to know.”

“I know.”

“The invitation is there, Y/N. Just… tell him soon. This is breaking his heart.”

“What about my heart, Scott?”

“He will always be your best friend. You know that.”

“Yeah. Listen, I’m being called into ER. I have to go.”

“Think about what I’ve said, Y/N. If not for Chris, for yourself.”

“I will, Scott. I’ll speak to you later.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

* * *

“Lisa?”

“Y/N! It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too, Lisa.”

“Happy fourth of July. Are you going home for the weekend?”

“No, actually. That’s why I’m ringing.”

“Yeah?”

“Scott invited me to the bonfire. I just wanted to ring and let you know that I’m accepting the invitation. I’m actually about to board the plane.”

“Oh, that is amazing news, Y/N. The more the merrier. Thank you for letting me know. Chris will be over the moon.”

“Actually, Lisa. Could you not tell him? I kind of want it to be a surprise.”

“Of course, sweetheart. This weekend is going to be amazing. When are you landing? I’ll have Bob pick you up.”

“That’d be nice, Lisa. Thank you. My plane is scheduled to land at 4pm.”

“My pleasure, sweetheart. Have a safe flight and I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“I will. Thank you again, Lisa, for keeping this a secret.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Bye, Lisa.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

* * *

“Bob?”

“Y/N? I can’t see you.”

“Hold on.”

“Oh, wait I think I see you.”

“I see you too. Did the kids make that sign?”

“They sure did. Begged me to take it with me.”

“Does Chris know?”

“No, not yet. Everyone has been very secretive. Even the kids.”

“Okay, I’m going to hang up now.”

“Alright, as long as you come over here and give me a hug.”

“Sure thing, Bob.”


	6. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Heartbreak. Crying. Lisa being a strong mama bear. Scott being a cheeky shit. Also kinda wanted to smack the shit out of Chris during this, then I realised… I’m the writer… I can do that. I didn’t, but the thought was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ve decided what’s going to happen with this story. I know, wow, she’s made a decision.
> 
> As you can tell, I’ve swapped the pairings around.
> 
> The people who have been following this serious know I did a poll on the third part and it has sorta gone down the middle. So, as I don’t want to end this series yet, I’ve decided to do both. Not a polyamorous relationship, but from part 3 to end will be written for both of the boys. So this one is clearly Chris and I will do the same for Sebastian where the reader chooses him.
> 
> I know a lot of you are probably like, um no do a poly fic, but I like to read poly but I’m not into it in real life so I find it hard to write. Plus my attention span is probably not long enough to do a fic while having to incorporate them both as romantic figures at the same time. So, I really hope you like this part and the future Chris ones and the yet to be decided how the hell they are going to go Sebastian ones.

“Just talk to him. Pull him aside and talk, Y/N. Chris is rational, he’s a logical thinker, you know that. He’ll need an explanation, but you and I both know he isn’t going anywhere.”

You look away from the window and turn your head towards Bob, Chris’ dad; his hands firmly gripping the steering wheel, his eyes secure on the road.

“What if he doesn’t forgive me, Bob? What if I’ve messed up so badly that the most forgiving person on Planet Earth doesn’t forgive me?” You ask the nerves that were deep in your belly a minute ago surfacing in a full-blown panic.

“Y/N. You’re a smart girl, but that was probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Bob tells you, not looking away from the road. The words cut you deep. “Chris has not stopped moping since he got here. He never shuts up about you. ‘Y/N would have liked this’, ‘I wish Y/N was here’, ‘Y/N loves this movie’. Blah, blah, blah.” Your mouth betrays you and you break out in a smile, as does Bob when he sees you smile out of the corner of his eye.

“Where does he think you went?” You ask, curious, looking out the window at the warm Boston landscape. Bob laughs.

“To buy beer.” You laugh as well.

“He’s not going to be very happy that you came back with no beer,” You reply, directing your eyes to the road as Bob turns onto his street.

“You’re better than beer to him, Y/N,” He replies, completely serious; it almost makes you awe. “But I also did buy beer.”

You turn and look at the two big cartons sitting on the back seat. You gawk for a second and then break out into laughter.

“I didn’t think any of us would want to do this surprise without alcohol,” Bob informs you. You turn back to the front as he pulls into the driveway, Scott already sitting on the porch; Chris thankfully not.

“Fair call,” Is all you say, unbuckling your seatbelt and opening the car door as Scott walks down the steps.

“Long time no see, sister,” Scott greets, a smirk plastered on his face. You can hear kids squealing from inside, and just as it heightens, you hear Chris’ laugh. Your entire body sets itself on fire and you have to physically force yourself to focus on Scott.

“Longer time no see, brother,” You laugh, throwing your arms around him. He holds you tight, not for long though, because then he reaches to pull the other carton that Bob hadn’t already got to out of the back seat of the car.

You grab your suitcase, breath for a second and then turn to face the music.

“He has been sulking all day, until Carly and the kids got here and he hasn’t stopped rolling around with them. Coping mechanism, methinks,” Scott tells you, walking up the porch steps in front of you. Bob has already disappeared inside the house, probably to actually make it look like beer was bought.

“Methinks as well, B2,” You joke. Scott just laughs and shakes his head, used to your humour by now.

“How much beer did you buy, Bob?” Lisa yells when Scott steps into the house.

“Not just beer, love,” Bob answers as you step into the house and there may as well have been streamers and fireworks going off because that’s what it felt like.

“Y/N!” The kids scream, and shit goes into slow motion. Your eyes catch the blur of children running across the living room, and Chris who flies into sitting position, turning his body to look at you. You open your mouth to say something, but the kids have wrapped their tiny arms around your body and the look on Chris’ face has stalled your thinking.

“Y/N,” Is all he says before he stands. The kids separate from you like the red sea and Chris is Moses. 

And then he’s picking you up, arms wrapped around your waist and hauling you against his chest. You submit pretty easily, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his neck just as he does you.

“I’m sorry,” Is all you can think to say.  _Chris, Chris, Chris_  is overloading your senses.

“Save that for later. Just let me hold you for a while,” He says, in his silky smooth voice that wraps around your spine. His fingers dig into your back as he holds you tight, his nose nudging under your ear, breathing in your scent.

You drag your head up from his neck for a moment to see his entire family watching from the kitchen, most holding drinks, some snacking, like this is the most interesting show any of them have ever seen.

“Can you hold me in another room? Your family is watching,” You ask quietly. Chris obliges quickly, walking out of the living room towards one of the back rooms; your legs still dangling above the ground. The movement only makes you sway in his arms so to resolve the issue, you lift your legs and wrap them around his hips, letting the warmth wrap around your body.

“Mom, are they going to go do naughty things now?” One of the kids asks Carly, and you can’t control yourself as you laugh into Chris’ neck.

“I thought I was never going to hear that sound again,” Chris admits quietly, kicking the door closed behind him as he moves you both into a bedroom, and then he sits on the bed, just holding you in his lap.

“I’m so sorry. You deserve an explanation,” You tell him, burying your fingers into his hair, feeling the softness of the strands between your fingers.

“You’re damn right I do,” He mumbles, removing his head from your neck and leaning back to look at you. His blue eyes filled with sadness and it breaks your heart seeing it. This is exactly what you wanted to avoid… accountability.

You drag your hands from his hair to his cheeks, feeling his stubble against your palms, caressing the soft skin beneath the rough hair.

“I can’t tell you sitting like this,” You tell him, moving off of his lap to pace the floor.

“If you’re going to tell me that you and Sebastian are dating, then I’d really rather not hear it,” Chris tells you, his brows furrowing and an odd kind of anger filling his eyes. You only shake your head before starting your practised speech.

“The kiss kind of made me realise some things. I didn’t really know what they were until after… Sebastian.” You stop, broaching Chris’ expression which remains the same. “I knew one thing after the kiss.”

“And what’s that?” He interrupts, looking up at you with those eyes; blue, dreamy, confused.

“That I don’t want to be friends with you anymore,” You tell him honestly and you watch as his heart shatters in front of you. His eyes fill with tears and his cheeks turn red, and you reach for him, spreading your hands over his neck. “No, no, no. I mean, Chris, the kiss… It…”

You breathe, staring down at him as he tries to frantically wipe away his tears. You have to take a deep breath to stop yourself from crying too.

“It made me realise that I’m attracted to you. In much more than a way that a best friend should. And then I got scared, thought you’d reject me, which you probably still will, so I was stupid and slept with Sebastian,” You keep going, Chris ducks his head and wipes his tears so you move away, watching him cautiously. “And he made me realise that it wasn’t just attraction I felt for you, Chris…”

His eyes lift from his lap and you feel your resolve crumble, the tears welling in your eyes that you don’t have time to stop them.

“I’m in love with you,” You sob, burying your face in your hands, letting it all go; let everything you’ve been holding for a month go. “I wasn’t ever going to tell you, but Sebastian… He begged me to. Scott convinced me too and your dad.”

“Everyone knows?” Chris asks and you hear the anger before you see it. You look at him, your face wet, tearing still streaming down your face; sobs raking your body. “ _Everyone_   _knew before me?!”_

Chris stands, full six-foot height over you; his face red more with anger than his tears. He’s raised his voice, not yelling, but you know he’s furious.

“You ignored me, basically killed me for a month because you’re in love with me? Fuck, Y/N,” Chris growls, his fists clenching. You’re not scared of him, but his tone, his words do make you shake with sobs. “You slept with Sebastian even though…”

“I’m sorry. God, Chris. I’m so sorry,” You cover your mouth the muffle the sobs and shut your eyes. You don’t want to look him in the eye while he looks at you like that… With more anger than you’ve ever seen in him, even in movies.

“I need a drink,” Is all he says and then the door opens and closes. You don’t even look, you just sink to the ground and bury your face between your knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

You knew this would happen. He doesn’t love you. Your love for him has ruined the friendship you’ve both worked on for twenty years. Maybe you should have just dated Sebastian.

You sit and cry until you can’t cry anymore. You don’t know how long you sit there for, but eventually, you cry yourself out and crawl towards the bed, tuck yourself under the covers and fall asleep, hoping your dreams are better than your reality.

Your dream has you jolting awake, touching your lips to make sure it wasn’t real.

You take a moment to collect yourself, looking around you notice Chris’ stuff spread across the room. You also notice your suitcase sitting in the corner.

You hear the laughter outside as you dig through your suitcase and pick out a change of clothes. You wash your face, brush the gross taste from your mouth and change out of your plane clothes into a nice dress, trying to forget about your confession and Chris’ outburst, instead choosing to go spend the fourth of July with your second family.

“And she lives,” Shana shouts as you step out into the backyard, finding everyone sitting around the bonfire.

“Are you hungry, sweetheart?” Lisa asks, standing from her seat, walking towards you. “Come on, I’ll heat some food up for you.”

You glance at Chris as Lisa takes your hand and tugs you into the house.

“Chris didn’t tell us anything if you’re worried, sweetheart,” Lisa tells you, serving some of the food onto a plate. Obviously, she senses your nervousness. “He left with a huff and only just got back.”

You stand, silent for a moment, watching the woman who has opened her home to you since you were sixteen make you dinner.

“I told him that I’m in love with him,” You tell her. You watch her stop and freeze, then set the plate down and turn towards you; her eyes wide.

“You’re not…” She says, covering her mouth with her hand. You just nod, looking down at the floor in shame. “You are. Oh my god!”

She throws her arms around you, hugging you towards her chest. You wrap your arms around her reluctantly, knowing she finds this exciting as if Chris returns your feelings. 

“But wait, you told him and he left?” You nod against her shoulder, confirming what she said. Just as fast as she hugged you, she is gone, bounding towards the backdoor like a mother on a mission.

“Lisa!” You shout, following after her, worried about what she is going to do. She’s a fierce mother, loving and kind, but she opens her mouth when she needs to.

“Christopher Robert Evans, I swear to Christ,” Lisa yells, walking down the steps towards everyone.

“You’re in trouble now, dipshit,” Scott chirps, sipping on his beer. You stand on the porch and watch Lisa yell at her eldest son. Chris looks up towards you slowly, then back to his mother.

“You have been pining after this goddamn girl since you were sixteen years old and she comes all the way to Boston to tell you that she’s in love with you and you leave her in your bedroom with her heart probably breaking and don’t even bother to make sure she’s okay,” Lisa yells, everyone is staring wide-eyed at her, even you, but not because of her yelling, but because of the admission. You hadn’t known how he felt about you back then, or even if he still does.

“Mom,” Chris begins, moving to stand. Lisa just steps forward and holds her hand out.

“No. I raised you better than this. I raised you to be a gentleman, to respect a woman’s feelings, but you leave the woman that is giving you her heart alone in your bedroom with nothing but her admission and no response from you,” Lisa continues her tirade. Your stomach sinks to the floor when Chris looks at you and you don’t know what to do, so you do what you want; to get away from his stare.

You turn and run, through the back door, through the living room, out the front door and down the street. You run through your hometown, the place you haven’t called home since you were eighteen years old, the place your family don’t even live in anymore. You just run, your dress billowing behind you.

He may have loved you at sixteen, but you both weren’t sixteen anymore. You weren’t high school nobodies anymore. Chris is a household name and you’re one of the best doctors in LA. You both have changed since you were sixteen and Chris’ reaction to your love only showed what he really felt for you now, and it certainly wasn’t the kind of love you want.

You keep running until you reach a park… the park. Chris and you used to play chasey in this park, then it used to be hide and seek, and then it’d be where you’d sit and talk for hours, do your homework or drink a beer Chris had stolen from Bob’s fridge. 

You sit on the grass and tuck your knees under your chin, feeling like you’re sixteen again, but you’re not. You’re thirty-six and you’ve never felt so helpless in your life. Not in medical school, not while moving to LA, not while navigating adulthood. 

The only solid, secure thing in your life was Chris and now you’ve gone a fucked it up.


End file.
